Our Biggest Fear

If there’s one thing we’re all afraid of, it’s public speaking. It makes us nervous, causes stress, gives us unwanted anxiety, and makes our confidence plummet. I took multiple public speaking classes, and my knees still want to buckle whenever I approach the dias! But, no matter how alone it makes us feel, you shouldn’t show your fear. Why? Once you’re onstage, the audience will start to feel your tension, so they’ll probably set their expectations pretty low (that’s a no-no).

Every person emits their emotions enough to affect the people around them. If you feel sad, other people in the room will start to feel your sadness; not just by your body language or facial expression, but by the energy that radiates off you. This kind of acts like a red flag when you go onstage to speak. So, how do we give people the benefit of the doubt?

Welcome back! This week’s post requires courage and a few doses of confidence to pull off. Public speaking isn’t easy; especially if you’re an introvert like me (it’s a nightmare). You have to believe in yourself enough to face the direct judgment of an audience in real-time. In my opinion, I would never in a million years want to give someone a reason to judge on purpose, or at least never try to.

You see, I’m one of those psychotic perfectionists who lose it whenever they see a tiny thing wrong with their work, and yes; when I say lose it, I mean I lose it. I try to do my best on every assignment and project, but when it comes to public speaking, I draw the line; even if it’s just an all-about-me speech! I do not like to speak. At all. Never. Nope. I will never do well on an assignment that seems designed for me to fail.

Up until high school, I dreaded the mere thought of speaking in front of the class. It was just something I couldn’t do! Every time I would try to answer a question or give a detailed explanation about something, it would always include a stutter, a pause, and sometimes I even forget what I was going to say! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t say a word correctly without a wave of anxiety washing over me.

How can you get past that dead end? There’s bound to be a time when you might need to speak in front of a hundred people. What should you do then? 

Well, there’s only one thing you need to know:

Do. Not. Care. About. What. Others. Think. Of. You.

“Better said than done,” you might say, and you’re right; it isn’t easy. But there’s a big world out there. Not everyone is going to appreciate you or your work, and who cares if they don’t? Your job is to try. That’s it! The moment you realize this, public speaking is going to become your new favorite thing. The whole reason why people are afraid to speak up is because of the little voice in their head that tells them all the assumptions that other people might be making.

“Oh, her presentation doesn’t have enough information.”

“His shirt is untucked.”

“I can barely hear them! Did they practice?”

Stop. Their voices and thoughts shouldn’t matter to you. When you speak in front of an audience, you are the master of your topic; no one is going to better you in the topic that you’re presenting on because they don’t know anything about your presentation! Think of them as a blank slate; whatever you tell them is what they walk out of the room with. When you are the master and conductor of a presentation, why not show a little bit of confidence? Trust me, I’m never that person who likes to show off their work with a little too much confidence. But when I’m onstage, speaking, I forget about my character. I become a whole new person with an abundance of sudden confidence. That confidence and courage that lets me take up space in the room, project my voice across the audience and just speak kind of makes me forget that I’m actually presenting. It’s just like when you’re trying to explain something to your friend; you are confident in your response and everything just flows out of your mouth naturally. You don’t care too much about what they may be thinking. It’s just natural.

The moment you learn not to care too much, it’s like a huge weight’s been lifted off your shoulders! It’s… comforting. People are always going to be people, and there’s really nothing that you can do to prevent or avoid it. You are going to have to speak, present, and even teach at one point, but the people listening can’t always be the most supportive. 

So, what did we learn? 

DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK! 

So, get up. Stand up straight. Lift your head a little. Stretch, roll your shoulders and neck a few times; loosen yourself up. Put on a wide smile, and…..

SPEAK!

What Do You Think?

No matter the age, we’ve all presented something, or at least spoken in front of a group of people. Usually, you’re eager to forget all about them, but there’s that one presentation that you just can’t forget about. So, since this week’s blog is about speaking and presenting, let’s go back to that one unforgettable speech. Answer these questions!

• What was that unforgettable speech about? Did you speak alone or with a group?

• Why was this special? What made it so unique that it’s just… there in your head?

• If there was one thing that you would’ve told yourself before a big presentation or speech, what would it have been?

ANNOUNCEMENT: From now on, I will be posting every Sunday, noon, EST!